11/26/19
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Solo Travel Is Trending. Follow The Crowd!

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Sultanette-approved entry only. Hotel Daniel, Vienna.

Instagram posts with #solotravel just topped 5 million. Searches for “solo travel” on Google Trend have doubled over the past five years. These stats are brought to you by Nina Sovich’s Wall Street Journal piece “Alone Again, Blissfully” (Saturday/Sunday, 9/21-22). And this is not about boomers on cruises. According to Sovich, millennials are leading the way, and if you don’t know they’re in charge you’re on vacation in Siberia.

The easy explanation is that we’ve become a nation of commitment-phobics, our most intimate relationship with our smart phones. But Sovich suggests that beyond our technical devices, we’re discovering another significant other. Ourselves. And that rather than a sign of arrested development ”being alone is an expression of sanity and self-worth.”

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Singular martini, Vienna.

I have cherished memories of traveling with Male Harem members (as much in the hotel room as out). But I can recall equally rich moments traveling with a favorite ménage à trois – me, myself and I. The Sultanette proposes that when traveling solo – not enclosed in the bubble of another – we’re more open to those around us. And the world responds. “People talk to you more when you travel on your own,” observes Molly Dunn, a brand strategist, single in New York City, who has caught the solo travel bug.

But even couples are loosening the knot to experience a solitary getaway. “Solo travel no longer means you are single” says Robin Brooks, director of marketing at UK-based Exodus Travels, who notes that more married people are traveling alone. Example: The couple from Austin, Texas, married with two kids under five. He’s in tech, she’s in a startup. They tag-team vacations with childcare, so they can pursue separate passions. “We all have our unique interests,” says Brooks. “Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you can travel with them.”

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Alice goes solo in Wonderland as Shakespeare looks on.

And single women are going four star. They make up nearly half of the clients of the high-end travel agencies in the Virtuoso network, and 300,000 members on the Solo Female Traveler Facebook page. So never mind that maître d’ in Vienna who piteously replied to me, “I’m sorry” when I told him I would be dining alone.

Unwilling to be maître d’ shamed, I made my way the following night to the renowned Purstner, known for its wiener schnitzel – pounded tender, delicately breaded, the size of a Frisbee. But getting there offered the downside of traveling alone – getting lost without a travel buddy to help make sense of the GPS. “Ah yes! Just take a right and two lefts” said every helpful citizen I stopped along the way, but no combination of turns yielded my destination.

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Winding up in Paris.

Through sheer resolve for a schnitzel fix, I finally stumbled upon Purstner, and the maître d’ greeted me without a trace of contempt for my single reservation. “Excuse me,” I burst out by way of explaining why I was thirty minutes, “but how is it that everyone tells you to take a right and two lefts, but I never find my way?” He smiled graciously, leaned in and said, “Madame, what you must remember is that Vienna is a circle. One never turns completely left or right.”

I never lost my way in Vienna again. And I realized that day that if you just keep walking in narrowing circles, you’ll always arrive exactly where you need to be. Which brings me to a favorite destination on The Sultanette’s bucket list: Serendipity.

It was a chilly, dismal afternoon in Paris. I was rattled from the all-night flight, the passport line, the treasure hunt to my Airbnb in the quartier Bastille. A brief walk would clear my head. As I turned down a bleak Faubourg St. Antoine it began to drizzle. I passed a park populated by scraggly pigeons. Considered buying a Paris Match at a newsstand to practice my woeful French. Why had I fallen for that cheap flight so late in the season? Why was I … alone?

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A bouquet of Paris.

And then as if bursting from shades of grey to technicolor, Paris presented herself. Not the Eiffel Tower or Champs-Elysées or Hotel de Crillon Paris, but the Paris of the Marché Bastille. The street before me was lined with purveyors of piled-high pommes and poires, artichauts and champignons. And Parisians going about their day. Mothers with small children, workers on their lunch break, grandmaman with her shopping cart and faithful terrier.

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Cornucopia Calling, Marche Bastille, Paris.

At the end of this street, the marché opened into a lot bearing a trove of tchotchke’s – books and cooking pans, scarves and gloves, ashtrays, candles and costume bijoux. An hour must have slipped by when I realized I was hungry. I had retraced my steps to the food stalls on my way to finding a restaurant along St. Antoine, when I spotted a chalk board with one word that needed no translation. Couscous! An arrow pointed towards a nondescript restaurant behind a tower of cabbage heads.

Inside, I was greeted by blessed warmth and a smiling proprietress. With lunchtime over, I chose one of the four empty tables, placed my order, and watched her scoop it into a bowl from a trio of battered pots steaming on a tiny stove. After presenting it to me, she sank down at one of the tables to watch the crowds go by.

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Waiting for you.

And as the spicy couscous warmed my bones and cleared my jet lag, we began to talk: How it was cold out there, and where I was from. How she had moved from Algiers with her husband and child, and life in Paris and New York. Is that really what we spoke about in our clumsy attempts at French and English? Did it matter? We were two women taking a pause from life on a rainy day at the Marche Bastille.

When you travel solo, you quickly learn that you’re not alone. It’s the world you’re traveling with. An interesting stranger, another story, and a new adventure waits at every turn. Join the crowd.

07/31/19
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Some Look For Love In Paris. Others Settle For Desire.

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Happily Ever After at the Palais Royal

Paris! City of Love or Capital of Desire? Choose your poison.

Love has occupational hazards (Think: Romeo and Juliet) and encourages odious feelings like guilt, jealousy, giddiness. Happily ever after requires contracts, vows, and facing a human at breakfast every morning.

Desire, on the other hand, is all feel-good in the moment. A tingling in the libido that makes the body smile. A stranger’s glance returned. A passing conversation ripe with innuendo. Desire requires no conquest, just the taste of possibility. It’s pure pleasure without the mess of plunder.

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Desire disrobed.

The eighteenth century philosophe DiderotEncyclopedia author and favorite of Catherine the Great (we all know about her libido) – wrote that when rising from his bed in the morning, he would let his hair fall from his nightcap in fetching curls. “My neighbor, who got up early and left her husband’s side, would open her curtains and feast her eyes on the sight, something of which I was well aware.”

Admit it, dedicated monogamettes! You may not be kinky enough for philosophers in nightcaps, but surely your thoughts have strayed to the pool boy’s buns on those horny nights when hubby is sawing logs beside you.

PHOTO: The Sultanette
Desire Dressed Up.

As international burgs go, The Sultanette can think of no city that celebrates desire better than Paris. Haute mannequins in boutique windows lure you to hand over your inheritance for the couture du jour. Patisserie windows have your mouth watering for an orgy with a Tarte Tatin.

In an age of swiping for sex or a relationship fix, have we lost our appetite for cultivating desire? Have we become so obsessed with the endgame – the perfect match, the ultimate orgasm, the phantasmagorical unconditional love – we can’t enjoy the unconditional encounter along the way? Or is desire just a tawdry stand-in for the real thing? The Sultanette tested this proposition one chilly March evening in Paris.

It was my first night back from a long weekend on the sun-drenched Cote d’Azur. Four days in Antibes, learning how to turn out the delectable cuisine of Master Chef-ette, Elisabeth. (The Male Harem has hungry mouths to feed.) The secret behind La Cuisine d’Elisabeth is effortless dishes masquerading as haute gastronomy. Beef tenderloins bathed in a satiny sauce of crème fraiche, buttery veal smothered in mushrooms, a lemon custard so light, so decadent.

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Cocktails a la F. Scott at Hotel Belles Rives

Classes were augmented with daytrips to Monaco and Nice, sunset hikes along the Cap d’Antibes, and a lunch at the edge of paradise on the terrace of the Hotel Belles Rives, where F. Scott and Zelda quaffed a martini or ten.

But that was then and this was cold and hungry. I was ready to settle for a decent poulet served up by any white-aproned waiter (the more insolent the better) who could unscrew a cork faster than I could say, “S’il vous plait.” But as the French say, “Chechez seulement du poulet roti et vous allez manquer les petits fours.” (If you’re only looking for roast chicken you miss out on the cupcakes.) Actually The Sultanette says that but it sounds better in French.

And there it was – a candle-lit boite offering “sheep cheese from the Pyrenees with black cherry jam and chili.” Hugo&Co was perfection at poulet roti prices! I was surveying the available tables when a cute maître d’ approached. “Avez-vous une réservation, Madame?

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Reservation please. Chairs at Musee des arts decoratifs

Reservation? I had no reservation! How had I not prepared for the most important activity in Paris next to sex? Dinner! I left the restaurant and its flickering candles to face bleak Avenue Monge. The thin sweater I’d grabbed running out the door was no match for the evening’s chill. I felt a sudden pang of loneliness.

And then I spotted a shaft of light spilling below a blue awning at the end of a dark, deserted side street. I headed towards the source, a sliver of a restaurant called La Pie Noir. Three beefy men filled the entrance, hovering over a zinc bar, their backs to the street. Upon my arrival, the guy in the middle broke from their boisterous conversation and turned around, towering above me.

Une personne pour diner, s’il vous plait?” I heard my voice squeak.

He measured me up. The restaurant was packed.

Une petite personne?” I tried.

At that, the friendly giant exploded into a burst of laughter, put his arm around me, and shouted, “Claude!”

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Au Bar at La Pie Noir

A slim man with a greying beard appeared with a menu under his arm and a twinkle in his eye. He lead me to the remaining table in the window, handed me the menu with a conspiratorial grin as if it contained the Kama Sutra, and disappeared down a narrow corridor of tables lined up along a stone wall that was the entire restaurant. As I perused the menu, Otis Redding’s Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay came up on a blues mix track.

Claude reappeared. Now he plunked down beside me, looked into my eyes, and inquired in his best Jean-Paul Belmondo, “And you are from where, Madame?”

“New York City,” I replied, waiting for him to be impressed.

“New York City?” He looked confused.

“Oui, Monsieur?”

“But I am sorry! I do not know of this Big Apple!”

With that he sprang out of the chair and was off again, stopping at each table to refill a wine glass, refold a napkin, share an inside joke with regulars, and help the waitress – a cheery girl in jeans, pullover, and ponytail – distribute the stream of plates emanating from a tiny kitchen in the rear.

When she brought the Beaujolais I’d ordered, it looked awfully generous. “Excusez-moi, is this a full carafe?” I asked her. “You will manage it,” she replied and dashed back to the kitchen. “What you want, baby I got,“ Aretha belted out from the mix track. On cue, Claude appeared with Coquille St. Jacques in saffron rice.

No matter those needy diners, Claude was to become my personal waiter-slave. Was Madame happy with her Coquilles? May I pour Madame more wine? As the crowd began to thin out, he pulled up a chair and we flirted in French/English. What was I doing in Paris? Had he ever been to New York? When I asked what was for desert, he lit up and pointed to himself.

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Amuse bouche?

None of it, of course, was to be taken seriously. We both understood that it was all foreplay with no after. That for a couple of hours on a chilly night in Paris, two souls would revel in each other’s attention. When I’d licked the last spoonful of my crème brulée, we bid each other bonsoir.

But as I reached Avenue Monge, I heard a voice calling, “Madame!” I turned to see Claude running towards me, waving something in his hand. “Vous avez oublié le pull!” he said, handing me the sweater I’d left on my chair, no longer in need of it.

If you come to Paris looking for love, don’t forget to sample the petits fours along the way. Happily ever after can wait.

10/25/16
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Walking Paris

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Shoes on Rue de Rivoli

In Paris, everything is perfectly clear below the surface. A recording on the Metro cautions you to watch the gap in French, English, and German. Meticulously numbered and color-coded subway lines assure you’ll never end up at the Front Populaire when your destination is Chateau de Vincennes.

Station names are literary triumphs. Where New York subway stops are prosaically titled 33rd, 59th, or 86th streets, the Paris Metro gives you La Motte-Picquet-Grenelle. Emile-Zola on the khaki colored line is just two connections from Victor Hugo in royal blue. It’s all to give the illusion that you can find your way around.

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Concorde, where a few lost their heads getting around.

But once you ascend to Paris plein-air, your Paris Classique par Arrondissement street guide might have been written by Jacques Derrida. A sudden minefield of intersecting rues is designed to keep you forever one turn away from the Brasserie Extraordinaire. Even the grand boulevards change names every three bistros.

Paris is so elusive it even keeps the French guessing. A woman I met who lives in a toney quartier, told me she once complained to her neighbor that the neighbor’s male housekeeper was making a show of his masturbation technique at a facing window. Next day, the neighbor reported, Mais non! He was merely polishing the candelabra!

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A hidden cours near The Sultanette’s Paris cache

Marie Antoinette lost her head trying to get around town. When her attempt to flee the guillotine failed because her entourage missed a turn in one of the city’s medieval warrens, it fatally slowing her escape resulting in her arrest at Varenne. So determined to keep The Sultanette’s head on one crisp October morning, I left the lux garret I’m renting in the Bastille area with directions in hand.

I was scheduled to meet with the directrice générale of a prominent publisher at 11:30am (it is bourgeois to schedule a morning meeting before 11:00am) to ply her with questions about the book research I’m doing here, on one of France’s sexiest tales of illusion. (If you want to know more, you’ll have to buy the book or see the movie that Hollywood will beg the rights for.)

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Petit dejeuner in grand style

After breezing through my Metro connections, I had time for a serving of butter-laden carbohydrates before arriving at exactly 11:25am at the address in my email instructions. I pushed my way through the door at the street, a heavy chunk of timber fitted with wrought-iron loops and hinges that could have kept a herd of peasants at bay. It opened into a dark, cobblestone passage where I again checked my instructions: Once inside, first door to the left, sixth floor. Easy enough.

Except that the first door on the left, a formidable leaded glass affair, refused to budge. Did she mean the first door at the circle of buildings after the passageway? I advanced to the sunny courtyard and tried that first door on the left. Success! I found the publisher’s name listed in the foyer, bagged the lift and began to wind my way up the grand staircase.

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Ascension at the Hotel Bristol if you are so blessed.

At the summit, breathless but victorious, I rang the door bearing the publishers name. A housekeeper answered. From what I could make out of the gloomy interior, the place hardly looked like an office but maybe the French preferred a lounge atmosphere to the cubicle design. In Franglais, I announced to her who I was meeting. She looked clueless.

Now a woman arrived at the door wearing pajamas, her coiffure more boudoir than bureau. Again I explained my mission. The woman seemed to know who I was referring to and either indifferent or unmindful of her appearance, began to grill me about the purpose of the meeting.

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A door … to where? Paris, the 5th.

Next a man’s voice interrupted from the apartment’s dark recesses. To reach the office, the voice said, somewhat irritated, I must go back downstairs to the door at the entrance. Either that, or he told me I was a foolish, dim-witted American and should take the first avion home.

With the stunning realization that I’d rung the prominent publisher’s flat, possibly disturbing his morning coucher avec la femme, I thanked the voice for his direction, and spouting apologies to the pajama lady that would have appeared fawning in Louis the Fourteenth’s court, I retraced my steps to the original doorway.

I gained entrance with the help of a guy smoking outside (the French still shamelessly smoke and kiss in public), loped to the sixth floor, and was greeted by the directrice générale.

She was tall and slim with perfectly strayed wisps of hair framing a face that bore not a stitch of makeup as far as I could detect. Dressed in black tights and high-tops, a scarf twisted and draped around her neck with careless aplomb, she hardly met the New York Times female CEO image. But this was Paris after all, where nothing dares to appear as it seems.

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Tout droit in the Palais Royal.

Over the next two hours, we talked about love and sex, coupling, complicity, feminism, politics, writing, literature, and well-crafted lies. She never checked her emails, rang her assistant or responded to a text. When I confessed my earlier detour, she was amused.

Beyond the insights gained in those two hours, I experienced a near-extinct commodity. Undivided time. Maybe that’s what this city, in its frustratingly unaccountable whimsy, was able to hold close.

I thanked the directrice and made my way back to the Metro. But as I was going down the steps, I stopped. Where did I need to get to in such a hurry? I headed back up to the inscrutable streets of Paris and started walking.